How Can I Raise Awareness in my Community?

---

The Culture of American Schools – Where Are the Dads?

Keith C. Schumacher

Over the past fifteen years, I have had the honor of serving schools across this great nation. At first, I was shocked at the negative attitudes toward fathers held by American educators and parent organizations. As I learned more about the history of family engagement in education, I began to understand the basis of these misconceptions. 

I often hear the desire to have more fathers and male role models engaged with local schools. I have heard comments like, “we don’t have any dads in our community” and “we held a ‘donuts with dad’ event and had a great turnout, but we never see them after that”. 

First of all, I know that there are actually dads in the community and they do want to be engaged. I also know that schools have to offer them something to engage with besides a donut. 

Traditionally in the past, men have been seen as the provider or “breadwinner” in the family. Moms were seen as the nurturer and caregiver for the children. This extended into the area of education. Since moms were raising the children while dad was out working, it was mom that volunteered at the school and supported school activities. 

Over the last century, women vastly outnumber men in the educational workforce, especially at the elementary school level. 

So, with the men focusing on their career and making a living and women handling both the professional and volunteer responsibilities at schools, men became less and less active in their children’s lives. Our American society shifted to a culture where in was unusual for a father to be supportive of his child’s school. 

Times have changed. In modern American culture, women have taken a major role in the workforce – and rightly so. Efforts to promote diversity, equity and inclusion have made great strides in providing opportunity to many who may have not had a chance to thrive years ago. Popular culture embraces the idea of promoting populations that have been slighted in the past – as it should.  

But in education, it has been the polar opposite. Over the past several decades, it has been women who are the ones to serve at the local schools and advance as administrators, teachers and through organizations such as PTA and PTOs. For the most part, over the past fifty years, men have been disappearing from schools. 

Now, popular efforts to expand diversity, equity and inclusion overlook men, especially fathers who are engaged with their families. So, intentionally seeking to welcome and include these men is seen as not “inclusive” and discouraged by popular forces within our culture. 

So, our conundrum is that our culture has not seen dads as a significant part of the educational process but sees the need while at the same time discourages educational leaders from specifically inviting them into the school. 

I have seen hundreds of examples where local school administrators defy popular culture and make a specific and welcoming invitation for dads. The results are often overwhelming. 

But, what about the children who don’t have a dad? Proactive school administrators recognize this need and choose to intentionally avoid stigmatizing these children, and to celebrate them. Encouraging them to invite a role model that they admire or connecting them with a positive mentor is a great way to be inclusive. It’s not about the name of the event. Changing the name of an event or program to exclude fathers not only overlooks this segment of the population but sends the message that they are no-longer welcome at the school. Being “inclusive” includes these men too. Intentionally overlooking and excluding this segment of the population only contributes to the detriment of the school community.  

Where are the dads? They are there. They are waiting to be seen and heard. They are waiting to be included. They are waiting to be given an opportunity to fill a role at the school. They are not just going to walk in and find something to do. Men are mission driven and task oriented. If you set expectations, they will strive to meet those expectations. Without expectations, they don’t know what to expect and neither does the school administrator. 

Let us as a nation and as a culture change the messaging of family engagement to be inclusive of fathers and put away the stereotype that dads are absent during school hours. It will change families, schools and our nation.